nomenclature: The study of the naming of organisms in the fashion that reflects their evolutionary relationships.
More than a few folks have asked how I came to call myself Dearie (instead of some other name for Grandma) and referring to my precious Avery Kathryn and Riggs Trey as "Darlings." Well, not long after the babies were born, Anne mentioned that I ought to have a blog. Duh, I already had one: Dearie's Darlings! She was somewhat startled and immediately got on the net to see if what I said was true. It was. Then I think she may have actually been excited about it. I didn't have time to explain to her the name in full because the premie twins were requiring all of her time and attention. With others asking now for several months, I figured it was time to tell all . . . So, here goes:
Years ago when Anne first brought Abigail Leigh to my house, a cute little six week old Boston Terrier puppy, I referred to myself as Dearie. At that point in time, I actually imagined that the closest I would ever come to being a grand-anything was to a grandpuppy! Many years before that in conversation with friends who were about to have their first grandchild and discussing what they wanted to be called, I told 'em head up: "I'm going to be Mére Dearie" (Mére got nixed 'cause you'll see later but it just didn't work with the naming pattern.) They were shocked because the eldest of my children at that time was Clair and she was only 14 years old!! And yet, I'd already established a name for myself once I was a grandparent! Getting back to Abigail, I figured that what they say about training . . . can't start too early!! After all, if I ever had grand children, I wanted to be Dearie.
Well, that wasn't the start of it all. As a child, I had a moderate speech impediment and consequently, spent many hours in speech therapy and practicing speaking clearly. By the time I was 9 years old, my mother had enrolled me in eloqution classes (yeah, go figure anyone having to suffer through that today!). As my instructor was working with me, she emphasized that our speech development begins when we are babies and, that the first sounds we make are "d" sounds. That's because babies spend so much time sucking that the tongue's natural "first" location in speech is at the palette and when air moves, the "d" sounds are first. She even had a little anecdote (which I completely forgot!) about why "da da" is spoken before "ma ma." It made sense to me then and somehow, that lesson, more than any other, seemed to stick in my mind.
As with most girls of my era when they get to be 10 and 11 years old, they begin baby sitting (in those days for $.50 an hour!!) and I did just that. Marilyn Moore lived right up the street from our house and she had four little girls ranging in age from brand new baby to 5 years old (the same age as my baby brother who my mother did not pay me to watch!). Mostly I just spent Saturday afternoons watching the girls while Marilyn did her chores around the house. I definitely wasn't alone with the girls until many months later. But as Sarah, the baby, was around 7 or 8 months old, I noticed that everything she said had a "d" sound! Her sisters mostly referred to me as "Lelly" because the "s" sound wasn't quite developed. But, they had no trouble at all saying my last name, Donahue. Curious! hold this thought 'cause now we have to take another little trip down a different memory lane!
My grandfather's sister, my Aunt Belle, was a grand lady from the Garden District in New Orleans. She was the ultimate in refinement and gentility. I loved her so much! Her ways were sorted and rich all the while, her tone was gentle, welcoming, comforting and loving. Every time Mother brought me to visit Aunt Belle was exciting for me! And, she would always greet me from the comfort of her chair in the parlor, arms outstretched, "Darling (pronounced DAHLING with that uptown accent!), do let Aunt Belle hold you! I've been thinking of you all day and I'm so happy to see you! Tell me how wonderful your day has been!" Now think about it, it didn't matter what kind of crappy day I thought I'd had, that wasn't what she wanted to know!! I was her darling and she was happy to see me and she wanted to hold me and hear everything that was wonderful! In that moment of greeting, the transformation of my day happened as I worked diligently to remember all of the good and wonder of the day so I could share it with her! She was one smart cookie and she worked her magic on me!
Aunt Belle died when I was 12 years old. Just a few months before she passed, I had gone to New Orleans with my mother (who had a doctor's appointment in the city) and I asked if I could be dropped off at Aunt Belle's while she was seeing the doctor. Mother complied so far as going to Aunt Belle's for a quick visit and once there, Aunt Belle told Mother that she would love my company for a couple of hours. I was sooo excited! I had Aunt Belle all to myself. She was sitting in her chair in the parlor but not tending her needlework as she usually did on most afternoons. She asked loads of questions and was so sincerely interested in any and everything I said . . . suffice to say, that was one truly memorable afternoon for me.
When Mother arrived to fetch me, I was sad to leave Aunt Belle. Little did I know that would be the last time I'd have with her on this earth. Before leaving with Mother, Aunt Belle hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek. She then grabbed me by the shoulders and held on tight as she told me, "darling, you've been such a dear, spending the afternoon with an old lady who needed your spirit to lift her own!"
When Mother came into my room few months later to inform me that Aunt Belle had passed away, I cried miserably for a long while. I pulled out my treasure box and I read through the cards she'd sent to me over the years, all addressed "Dearest Darling Leslie;" I realized how truly fortunate I'd been to have this outstandingly splendid lady in my life and just how much she'd meant to me . . . the generous love she'd shared with me over the years would sustain me in times of trouble and give me thousands of reasons to smile when it would be impossible otherwise. Aunt Belle made certain that I knew how special I was to her.
Standing on the playground at school one afternoon, a group of my friends and I were talking about when we got to be really old and have grandchildren, what we would do and what we would call ourselves and you know the game . . . that's when I decided I would be Dearie and my grandchildren would be my Darlings.
My Darlings have a wonderful network of extended and blended family with whom they will share many experiences--some exciting and others quite mundane--throughout their lives. Yet, I hope to give them, to share with them, a relationship that is unique unto itself; moments that don't compete with others, rather complement them; experiences that are gleefully fun and enriching as we create a rich treasure trove that they are able to enjoy for the rest of their lives.
Its the "d" ness of the words that I hope Avery and Riggs will pick up on quickly and comfortably but, its the affirmation and connection of love that is their specialness that I hope endures and that they will forever remember fondly.
Everything has a reason and this is mine . . . mine for being Dearie, mine for calling my grandchildren Darling(s) and mine for naming this blog Dearie's Darlings. After all, this blog is for Avery Kathryn and Riggs Trey--their proof positive that I really did think about them each and every day, that I am
always happy to see them, that I want to know how wonderful their day has been . . . added only that on most of those days, I took a little time to write about how special the shared moments with them have brightened my own life. Dear, dearest, dearie and the darlings. Plain and simple: That's my reason!